Let's be real

 

This was me yesterday morning. Feeling completely defeated, ready to run away, throw my hands up, say why do I even bother. It wasn't really one particular thing that made me feel this way. I got up and did my normal routine, started doing my chores and just got in my own head so to speak. Sometimes when you are left alone with your thoughts it can be a worrisome place. I used to say the devil is trying to get me today, but then I heard a preacher say one time that the devil doesn't have that much power over you. AMEN! So, I don't say that anymore, instead I say Not today satan!! I had cried probably a hand full of times before I even took this picture. And let me tell you how hard it is mentally for me to post this picture. I do not like to take pictures of myself. The first thing I do when someone takes my picture is blow it up and point out all my flaws.  Then I remind myself I have a daughter who looks up to me and I think she is beautiful! I tell her every day she is beautiful. She doesn't have the perfect little body either, but she hears the things I say about myself and she thinks those same things about herself too. I don't want that for her! I have never been skinny or tan or had beautiful straight hair. I am the opposite of all those things.  So if you hear me being "conceded" some times, please know that I am saying these things so that my daughter will believe them about herself.  I can love myself now, but it has taken me 42 years to do it. I don't want it to take that long for her.  

 Life is just hard sometimes, trying to take care of everything and be all the people you are to your people, for me it's overwhelming. Some days I can rock it! Some days (like yesterday morning) I feel like a complete failure. Maybe its a control issue too?! Then I start to feel really bad because there are SO MANY worse things that could be happening. That's when I count my blessings and get over myself, it takes me a little bit.  Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we can't do this on our own (or at least I can't.)  

This post is not for pity or for you to tell me how great you think I am. It's just me being real. The older I get the more I realize how important mental health really is. You have to take care of yourself mentally too. Your mind can be a dangerous thing. So please love yourself! Get counseling if you need it (most of us do) listen to praise and worship music, say not today satan and if that isn't working, call me I'll tell you how wonderful you are! We were all made in God's image and he makes perfect masterpieces! 

Wishing you sunny skies and green pastures,

McKession